he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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