Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
