Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
