Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
