Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
