I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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