You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
