she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Your cock deserves a montage
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
