I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
