I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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