I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
