I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Let's get the cat blown out
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