just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
