so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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