At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
