Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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