just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
3pm strippers are depressing
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
