I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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