I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
