Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
