Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
