Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Even my vagina gasped.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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