Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
