i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
