I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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