You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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