Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
did i walk over a car last night?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Found the puke drawer
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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