So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
