will power is for people who don't want to get laid
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
