she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
