Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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