So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
