At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
