Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're a waste of cheezeits
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So vagazzling was a success
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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