Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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