Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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