My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
