No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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