yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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