I wish I could teleport
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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