i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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