There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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