Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
