I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
