He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
