She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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