If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
