They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
