It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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