I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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