Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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